Divorce is a painful process to undergo for most couples, and it takes time to heal emotionally. Dating someone after a divorce requires patience and understanding. There is a certain cooling-off period after which to consider dating a partner that is recently divorced, among other things, as mentioned in the blog below.
There is no fixed guideline or time frame by which you get to know if you know an individual well enough. For some, it might take a few months, while for others, it could take a few years. It depends on how closely both interact and the time spent together to quite an extent. In the situation of dating someone after a divorce, there are certain basic questions to keep in mind.
Disagreement about anything: While it may seem unusual, having disagreements with someone is a good way of gauging their behavior when things get complicated. It is healthy to disagree about matters and debate them.
Have they stood by you at a difficult time? Adversity is the best teacher as it helps us to figure out those that truly support us from the rest, who are only fair-weather friends. If you have been through a very testing period and someone is supportive, they are likely to be genuine.
Do you know each other for three or more years? While this may seem too long a time, it is found that those people that know each other for around the three-year mark, generally stick around as friends. It is sufficient time to have experienced different situations, and by this time, friends get closer or just drop off.
An opportunity to spend a holiday together: Taking a trip together and being with the person for almost all day long is a good way to see a different side with them. When you travel, and holiday together you get to know the other person much better.
Been in a crisis together: If both of you are in a crisis, you might find the other person reacts in quite different a manner than you expected. It brings out the best and the worst in people and shows them in their true light.
For someone that has had a spouse or partner cheating on them, do not expect the wronged partner to get over the breach of trust in a fortnight or two, as it takes time. Time is the best healer, and, in some cases, it takes quite long to heal. Getting support from close ones also helps to quite an extent to get over infidelity. It takes patience to deal with someone that is hurting because of a partner's infidelity.
It is very difficult to explain the kind of pain a cheated partner experiences. There is no definite time within which to know if they are over the relationship and the incident. In some cases, it takes a couple of months, while for others, it might take quite longer. In the end, of course, almost every human comes back to normal and moves on with their life.
The time taken to recover from a divorce depends on several important factors. These include the following:
Getting strong emotional support, having financial independence, and meeting someone special to begin a new relationship can further make the road to recovery and healing much quicker.
Grieving is a natural process, and we need to accept it as it comes. Trying to suppress grief will only keep it below the surface in our subconscious and lead to anger and resentment in the long term. The quicker we let it out, the better for us.Here are a few tips to help in the grieving process after divorce.
Do not hesitate to get help: Be open to taking help from family and friends. If you feel the need to consult a professional counselor, reach out for help to deal with any of the usual negative feelings that form part of the grieving process.
Share your inner grief: Keep grief pent up within will only lead to resentment and anger building up, so let it out. Talk and confide in someone you are close to that will help as an emotional catharsis.
Understand the process: Getting a divorce involves technical legalities, so try and get a fair understanding of the process as it goes on.
Deal with hindrances: There will be issues and obstacles that will pop up periodically, so be prepared mentally and emotionally to handle them as they arise.
Share your feelings: Again, you need to share your feelings with someone close whatever they may be. From anger to resentment, guilt to feeling helpless, all these feelings are part of the grieving process. Always share these so that they do not remain bottled up within. Let your innermost thoughts and feelings arise to the surface because the quicker you deal with these, the better and faster you will overcome and bounce back.
Accept change: The faster you accept your new status as being single and ready to move on with your life, the better things will become. Within a reasonable time, you will be as good as new and ready to start a new relationship. Remember to be positive in attitude and approach to everything that is in your life.
Getting divorced is not the end of the world, simply an end of a chapter and an opportunity to begin a new phase of life. It is the attitude with which you approach your new-found single status that counts!